What Age Do You Think Kids Should Start Caring About Beauty?

Over the years I’ve acquired 3 permanent scars – the first was from when I was 1 and weirdly obsessed with my image in the mirror, and fell backwards holding a full-sized one. The second was when I was 2 and my house help lost it and almost killed me because I’d sat, with a dirty diaper, in a bucket of water she’d walked 4 streets to fetch. And the third from that one time I tried shaping my eyebrows myself at 7 years old.
Fast forward to a few days ago when I heard my neighbor practically screaming her head off because her 9-year-old daughter had made the same clumsy mistake I’d made so many years ago. She’d somehow gotten a hold of a new razor and was shaping away and cut herself deeply. When asked why she was trying to retouch her eyebrows, she said she liked what “Aunty Bose” did to her brows when getting ready for church. “It was fine and I want my own to be like that“.

I actually understood her plight. She has (well, had) those really beautiful full brows that remind me of Lily Collins or Cara Delevingne that I so crave now; and felt like she was definitely making a huge mistake. But I had to wonder why she was trying to be like Aunty Bose at such a young age. I remember when I was 9 and my Aunt bought me a set of lipsticks – my sisters took everything and left me with the nude coloured one. And even that one I was only allowed to use when I turned 13. I didn’t understand then the makeup injustice I had just been served, I was just upset because they had taken my present that Aunty gave to me. So it baffled me why she was so concerned with her appearance.

At what age should our kids start worrying about beauty or grooming. At the age of 9 if your son comes up to you and says he wants to use spirit to grow side burns or a beard to look more mature or your daughter coming to you to ask for money to buy lip gloss – what would you do or say?
I should say I was lucky because my mum allowed me go all out for my 13th and I even got goth makeup. Some of my friends on the other hand didn’t touch a tinted lip gloss till they were 16 and 18.
I notice nowadays that a lot of women try to give their kids as much freedom as possible and want them to grow into young adults. But how much of it should we allow? I’ve seen 3-year-olds with fake lashes, lip stick and penciled-in brows; and please don’t get me started on the ‘Christmas Hair’ mandate.

When I discussed this with a female friend of mine she absolutely did not agree with my mum’s choice of letting me wear makeup at 13. “No oh! That’s too soon! You were still a small girl. My daughter will not know what they call lipstick until she is in university. Even then ‘sef’, all this contouring and Nike eyebrows will be a no no!“. “It’s a no ‘abeg’“. Point taken.