Fashion Versus The Limits Of Decency - #amustread
Saw this interesting story and thought I should share…this post first appeared on Leadership.ng
I walked into a salon one sunny Saturday afternoon to get my hair done – a nice salon somewhere in Wuse II. One of the girls who worked there walked up to me, politely asked what I wanted done and then directed me to sit while I waited for someone to attend to me. I sat, looking around the salon and smiling back at a couple of the other women there having their hair or nails done, who smiled at me in greeting. Then I saw her and I had to consciously stop my jaw from dropping in shock.
Seated in a chair was a lady, probably in her early 30s, having her hair done and a pedicure. Anything strange about that? No, not at all. I was in a salon. What, then, had caused my alarm? She was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and it wasn’t a long one either!
Regaining my composure after a few seconds and seeing that no one else in the shop seemed to be gaping at her the way I was, I began to tell myself that it must be that she’d had to remove her skirt, trousers or whatever for some very logical reason. Maybe it had been stained by something, so it had been washed and was hung somewhere to dry while she was getting her hair done. Or maybe her trousers had torn and somebody was quickly repairing them for her. There just had to be a rational explanation. I mean, no one in her right senses would leave her home dressed in just a skimpy t-shirt. Or so I thought…
Hair and nails done, the young lady stood up, asked to be passed her handbag and made her way out of the salon. Nobody hurriedly brought a skirt or pair of jeans for her to put back on. She walked out the door and (thankfully!) got into her car and drove off. In just a skimpy t-shirt! I couldn’t believe it.
In another salon in Lagos some years back, a lady walked in wearing a really short skirt and a top that left very little to the imagination. Most of the staff in that salon was male and as she sat to have her hair washed, the hairdresser attending to her said, “You’re really very pretty you know. But when I’m done, go straight back home, get dressed and come back to finish your hair, because you’re naked. Don’t bother to wait for a taxi, just jump on an okada and go home quickly!” Needless to say, she was very embarrassed.
I was pleasantly surprised though, that a young man could tell an attractive girl something like that. It drove home for me the fact that no girl can attract a serious suitor by dressing in a manner less than decent. If a guy comes after you because of the cleavage you so generously show the whole world each time you go out or because of those super tight jeans that show off half your behind when you sit down, once he’s done with all of that, that’ll be it, even if he does marry you. Renowned motivational speaker, consultant and author Fela Durotoye said focus blinds and that can be negative or positive, depending on what you’re focussing on. If a man can focus on nothing but your physical endowments because you’re letting it all hang out, he’s not going to be able to see you for who you really are. He’ll be blind to your intellect and other attributes. All he’ll see you as is a beautiful body.
Today’s fashion seems to dictate that the tighter, the lower, the shorter, the better. But who says that we have to be dictated to by fashion? Have we really lost the ability to draw the line of decency when it comes to what we wear as women, or have we just chosen to go with the flow, because we lack the courage to stand up for what we know to be right? Now I know you’re going to say that this is my opinion and that decency in dressing is relative, a woman has the right to do what she wants with her body, if you’ve got it, flaunt it etc., but surely you must agree that some of the things women wear today really have crossed the limit.
As women, we must realise that we are nation builders. We nurture life in our wombs, we nurture life at our breasts once a child is born and to a large extent, we are the ones who raise children, imparting important life principles and values to them. We shape destinies. When the women of a nation are loose morally to any degree, you’ll find that the entire moral fabric of that nation will soon be threadbare. It is not at all unlikely that the rise in brutal sexual violence against women in India is connected to the fact that the most ‘Googled’ person in that country in recent times is Indian Porn actress, Sunny Leone.
A potent but subtle war has therefore been waged against the sanctity and virtues of womanhood and true femininity for centuries. Why don’t you see men jiggling about half-naked in music videos? Why must almost everything, even engine oil be advertised by scantily dressed women? It is all, ultimately – beyond the fact that men are motivated by sight and so are more likely to be interested in a thing when it is presented by a girl in bum shorts – to entrench the belief that women are only worth as much as the beauty of their nakedness. Now that’s a fat lie against womanhood, but unfortunately, we are helping to spread it. Then we want to stand up and complain that men don’t take us and our intellectual capacity seriously. And as part of this battle, fashion is used as a tool to further debase the woman and her body. There’s much more to you than a pretty face and huge hips. You have a lot more to offer the world than just your fine figure. What you wear does not make you; you make what you wear.
While men were created from the dust of the earth, we were formed delicately and intricately by the Creator’s hand. God took His time on you girl! I’m all for dressing well and looking good at all times, but let’s learn to honour the beauty we naturally possess by keeping our private parts private. Dressing indecently may get you lots of male attention, but real appreciation and respect from all people comes when you first appreciate and respect yourself enough to dress fashionably, but within the limits of decency.
Please learn from this!